Nearest Book

Laurie tagged me-

1. Pick up the nearest book (at least 123 pages).
Life On A Roller Coaster Coping With The Ups and Downs of Mood Disorders
by Ekkehard Othmer,M.D.,Ph.D. and Sieglinde C. Othmer,Ph.D.

2. Turn to page 123


3. Find the 5th sentence


4. Post the 5th sentence on your blog
A person can be born with a genetic vulnerability to environmental influences.

Can you tell I have been really working on learning who Drew is and how to accommodate the child I have been blessed with? Although there are days I just want to shake him for his behavior issues, I know God chose me to raise Drew and I am up for the challenge.

For those of you who are not frequent readers or do not know my family personally. My oldest son Drew was diagnosed with ADHD,and impulsive behavior disorder,a developmental delay and a sensory integration disorder. Drew takes 15mg of Focalin daily to control his impulsiveness. He is a model student,even January's Character Kid at school. He is making amazing progress academically,going from a reading level 3 in Dec 07 to a level 11 currently.

Then we get home....
I have been so desperate to stop his "tantrums" that I have picked him up(he is 91 lbs)fully dressed and put him in an ice-cold shower to shock his central nervous system.I have video taped him so I could show medical professionals what I deal with.Let me state that all other adults outside of our home involved in Drew's life would never believe that he acts like that.Once I figure out how to upload a video here I will post one of his episodes for all to see. As stated by my brother,It looks like something you would see on 20/20.

Every morning when Drew wakes up we are unsure what child we are waking. Kind,sweet,loving,apathetic ,helper Drew or mean,miserable,crying,skittish Drew.We could do the same thing at the same time every day and we never know how Drew will respond to it. I have posted in the past all the methods I have tried,such as
-Reward Charts
-Taking privileges away
-Changed his meds
-having him see my raw emotions(crying)
-spanking(when he was younger)

I have been the nice mother,the mean mother,the understanding mother,the aggravated mother,etc.

Once again as stated by my amazing brother....Just like we wake up every morning to a different Drew,he wakes up every day to a different mother.Isn't that so powerful and true?? After hearing that I knew that I was the one who had to make the changes and then Drew will follow. So we have an appointment with a psychiatrist May 11th to get him evaluated then to set up behavioral therapy.I am quit interested as to what they will say/suggest.

Since the age of 2 Drew has been seen/evaluated by FDLERS,ADAPT,Project Challenge,Directions for Greater Mental Health, a pediatric developmental specialist,he has received OT and speech therapy throughout the years. NONE and I repeat NON of these "professionals" have helped us or given me answers to why Drew is the way he is let alone given me advice that works with him. I now realize that I have been holding on to this little piece of hope that Drew will hit a certain age and just outgrow it.Rather than realizing ,this is Drew and that as his mother it is my job to give him the best life possible and to help him to succeed in all areas the way he is.

I don't mean to come across like Drew is a burden because that is NOT what I mean-he is my first born true love - a true blessing and I would saw off both my arms if I thought it would help him succeed in life.

With all this said (wow-I really didn't expect to go off like that,guess I needed to get that off my chest.) I now have to decide what type of mother I am going to be to Drew and stick with it.And the worst part is ,I don't know!!